Let’s be honest: we’re all here because we need a large, bearded man to yell at us so we don’t accidentally eat a slice of cake. I subscribed to SwolenormousX thinking I’d get "functional fitness," but I’ve mostly just learned how to look intensely at a camera while discussing "The Pillar" like it’s a sacred text. Does the yoga actually help your mobility, or is it just a clever way to ensure we’re flexible enough to pat ourselves on the back for being "elite"? I bought the merch, and I’m pretty sure the fabric is woven from the discarded dreams of people who do crossfit. 10/10, would get roasted for my weak lats again. Stay swole, you beautiful disasters.