So I see these "VitalWear" gadgets everywhere promising to monitor my health. Is it just me or is this just a way for my insurance company to watch me eat a whole pizza at 3 AM in high-def? 🤡 If I strap one to a dog does it count as his cardio or mine? Honestly, looking for a device that detects when my life is becoming a viral fail compilation before it actually happens. Anyone know a brand that isn't just a glorified pedometer for people who don't actually leave their basements? 😂💀